Back in February I spent some time with a guy friend named George who had just been dumped. She is successful in her career, a lot of fun and quite attractive.He had spent almost a year and literally tens of thousands of dollars on numerous IVF treatments in an effort to have a baby with his 43-year-old fiancee. He even flew to London to buy the engagement ring from an auction after she saw it in a catalogue. In the years I had known her I had never once heard her lament her dating life, much less verbalize any long-term goals about it. Age 28, which was only three years ago for me, was a massive turning point in my life. The list goes on, but the point is that the magic number 28 as The Age of Matrimony may worm its way into women's minds without them even realizing it. Our society has put a bizarre stigma on single women over 30.I lowkey really hate any kind of messaging, whether it’s texting or chatting on whatever app.” – Quyen, early twenties. Which gets repetitive, and then gets boring.” – Matt, late twenties.
The reason for deleting their dating apps all seemed to boil down to either time consuming, frustrating, or boring. I’ve downloaded and deleted that app maybe six times in the last 12 months.
9 months of putting yourself out there deliberately can be draining though. ” is actually pretty impossible, as among other reasons, it would be seriously financially irresponsible. I guess I’m just trying to balance it with some realism so I’m not disappointed Maybe I’m just managing my expectations.
And lately I just haven’t had it in me to update my profile, send messages, and be active on these sites in a way that facilitates actually setting up dates. I definitely do not regret the career decisions that I’ve made but it feels ironic that one of the reasons I changed careers to be in a profession where my work didn’t take over my life and thus allow for more family flexibility. Or maybe I just want to see how it feels to say my fear out loud.
One that I KNOW I am not the first 30 something female to ask herself. March is when I got myself back onto Ok Cupid and eventually and then yes, eventually JDate. I think I’m actually booked pretty much through the New Year. And I could write a whole post about all the amazing things I have in my life and have done precisely because I am not in a relationship. To not be interested in any suitor in return Not in a sad and depressed way but more in a logical way (or as logical as it’s possible to be when it comes to matters of the heart). Because I decided to change career paths three years ago, I’m in a very different financial state then I was in my late 20s.
For the first time since March, I have no dating prospects. So since March I’ve thrown myself into these sites to varying degrees. But for now I am thinking about what it means if I don’t actually meet someone. After years of living by myself, I have lived with roommates for the last 3 years.